I was just telling the story the other day how when I was in my early twenties I walked around in this 'enlightened' daze repeating the words "Its all about energy, man. Everything is energy." I had no idea why what I was saying was true but I felt the truth of that statement deep within myself. Over 20 years later I still don't know why that is true and I have stopped having to know why. It is enough to simply know. This does not mean I am aloof or attempting to embody blind faith, nor am I gullible to every self-proclaimed psychic or healer that crosses my path. It means that I have a faith and conviction that when I remain true to my heart, have faith in Spirit or Universe and trust in my heart that life unfolds in magical and mystical ways.
It is my desire to share some of my experiences with the public with the hopes that it will help to inspire others into more powerful ways of being. The following is such a story.
When I moved back to Colorado from Montana in 2011, I was very sick with Chrons Disease. I decided to get a dog as a companion, someone to share life with and listen to all my stories no-one else wanted to hear. One day when I went to visit some the shelter I met this bright little black and white terrier cross named Sophie and we fell in love. She had some unwinding to do but after working with her things got easier, however after a few months she began developing a serious health condition that was a mystery to my vets. After several months of expensive testing it became overwhelming, not only financially but her extreme separation anxiety required I be with her 24/7 and my life was on hold and my own health was suffering. I searched high and low for solutions and after a few months I was at a loss and felt completely overwhelmed.
One of the Siberian shamans I study with, Ladamira, was coming to town and I was helping to coordinate her local events. We scheduled a fire walking ceremony, which I was very excited about as I had never done one before. The intent of the fire walking was to break down limiting beliefs and make the impossible possible. Sophie went with me to the ceremony and loved the attention and energy. When we set our intentions for the ceremony, I asked for freedom from the struggles with Sophie and an unfolding of events for her that would resolve her health issues. After an inspirational talk and ceremony we walked on white hot coals multiple times without injury. It was exhilarating! Late that night we went home and dropped into sleep.
I woke at 4am to find her condition had worsened. Blood was coming from her nose and the bed was covered. I immediately called the 24-hour emergency vet clinic and got prepared to go, but Sophies condition worsened rapidly and blood was now streaming from her nose. With her already critically frail health condition, I sensed there was no way we would make it to the clinic in time. So I laid down in the bathtub with her to say my goodbyes. As we lie there I felt a huge mix of emotion, making peace with her death, feeling her relief at making her transition, and feeling confusion that I had brought this outcome. I began to sing songs to her to comfort her and she relaxed and closed her eyes. After some time had passed, it appeared all her blood had drained. There was long silence, but when I spoke to her she slowly responded. Covering her up, I gently picked her up to make the trip to the vet, being careful to not excite her and start the bleeding again. By this time my normal vet who was familiar with her condition had just opened. I was greeted very formally by the receptionist who informed me that the vet would not be in for another two hours. During this conversation one of the techs recognized us from past visits and with hardly a word whisked Sophie into the back office.
A few minutes had passed when the vet unexpectedly walked in the door to pick up something she had forgotten the night before. She saw me sitting there and her walking slowed for a second but, without saying a word she quickened her pace to the back office where Sophie had been taken. After an hour or more had passed she came out with a heavy look on her face and told me the news. Sophie was in a very delicate situation with not a drop of blood to lose and they were giving her blood transfusions. They had also been running more tests, which revealed nothing. She explained that to do further tests, it would cost almost three thousand dollars to see if it was a very rare condition. I knew I cold not make that commitment and decided to have a heart to heart with the vet. I explained my story that I had been trying to find solutions and that I could not pay the money but was troubled because I knew she still wanted to live. It was in that moment that the vet revealed an unadvertised program that she had that she can only utilize for special occasions once or twice a year, but Sophie's situation qualified. She offered to 'adopt' Sophie, where all her medical costs would be covered by donated funds and veterinarians would donate their time to see her health recovers. There was a waiting list of people ready to adopt these dogs into their homes. The only catch was I would never know the outcome. It was a very difficult decision, but knew it was the best solution for her. Out of concern of stimulating Sophie and restarting the bleeding I did not say another goodbye. I walked away on faith that she was in the best place possible.
I had previously scheduled a private healing session with Ladamira to be held on that morning after the firewalking ceremony. When I got there, I explained to Ladamira my reasons for attending the firewalking and the series of events that had unfolded overnight. She wanted to know every detail and nuance of the story. Finally she looked at me with a smile and began congratulating me. Not only was Sophie in the best place possible but I was freed from my struggles as well. It still felt bittersweet, but the prayer had manifested. Ladamira related to me the Karmic patterns I had transfigured and offered practices to complete the transformations. Previously, months of efforting and struggle had left me feeling hopeless, but the power of the ceremony combined with my conviction, the manifestation occurred. This was a powerful reminder that by following our hearts, we align our paths with divine assistance.
Even though I had agreed to not know the outcome of Sophie's journey, the vet made an exception and informed me that Sophie had stabilized but they were doing tests to determine what was really happening. She was living on the premises and became the resident dog-in-chief at the boarding facility there. All of the staff had fallen in love and gave her constant attention, and she was having a blast playing with the visiting dogs in the daycare. Communications from my vet drifted off over time, and part of me wanted to write for an update, but I held off, honoring the space of the unknown and trust that was there. After a few months I got a notice via email from the registry where she had been microchipped, asking for a transfer of registration to a new person. I knew then that she was alive and well in a new home.
This is one of many such experiences I have had over the years. I have no doubt that stories like this are the tip of the iceberg that are available to us as we fine tune our relationship with the infinite mystery - whatever names we want to give it.